Dealing with Moral Failure

My wife and I watched the video recorded at the First Baptist Church of Hammond, Indiana’s Wednesday night service as the Deacons reported on the dismissal of their pastor, Jack Schaap for inappropriate behavior with a minor. I’ve read that a Deacon picked up the pastor’s cell phone from the pulpit and noticed a picture of the pastor and a young teen kissing. That lead him and others to investigate and it turned out that last Monday night the Deacons met with the Pastor to confront him with the evidence to which the head Deacon indicated he made full confession.

That’s a church of some 15,000 members. The spiritual damage is incredible. And sneer of the unbelieving world grows towards the whole Body of Christ.

As I’ve served on our district denomination’s discipline committee, I can resonate with the pain and heartache that the Deacon Board and church is feeling. My own church suffered the loss of some precious ministers because of inappropriate relationships. And so as I watched that video, there were a lot of emotions that resurfaced. It’s caused me to think again about how God would have us handle and deal with sin like this.

I applaud the Deacon board for the swiftness with which they dealt with the issue. The rumor mill didn’t get a chance to get turned on. I hope that they did their homework and their decision was not based on hearsay or conjecture. I also hope that behind the scenes there is a lot of love and concern being poured out to the Pastor Schaap and his family as well as the affected teen and her family.

That is one aspect that I would have like to have seen more of. Those who spoke in the video talked a great deal about how their actions were all about their love for and concern for the church. But there was a missing element of their love for the Pastor and his family. It wasn’t quite that “throw him under the bus” feeling, but I would have appreciated a bit of humility and brokenness from the leaders for their now former pastor.

This morning in my devotional readings I was in Psalm 143. Verse 2 says, “Enter not into judgment with your servant, for no one living is righteous before you.” One of the things that I’ve come to expect when I’ve been involved in a discipline case or just hear about horrendous happenings like this is that I begin to examine my own heart, mind and life. When I went running and was mediating on the verse I thought about Jesus’ words in the sermon on the mount … “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:28.

And then with the woman caught in adultery Jesus challenges the throngs that the person who is without sin can cast the first stone. To which they all turn away.

The ramifications of a pastor’s moral failure are especially devastating and Paul admonishes Timothy: “Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. ²⁰ Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning. 1 Timothy 5:19-20. So the actions of the First Baptist Church’s Deacons is appropriate.

Dr Schaap should be embracing a long season of repentance to deal with all that led him to this sin. But may we always rebuke in love and not wrath.

Dealing with the Devil

I made the statement in the message this morning that “the Devil hates you and has a terrible plan for your life.” But in retrospect I wonder if that statement gives the Devil more credit than he deserves. Does he really have a “plan” or does he just take what he gets and ad-libs.

I’m wondering if he looks for any opportunity for temptation. As life happens, he’s there to try and make it more difficult tempting us to take a short cut that would take us away from our pure devotion to Christ.

Even in Jesus’ case, the Devil prompts his temptation when things are tough for Jesus. He’s hungry, feeling a little powerless, and may have been wrestling with the Father’s will as he did right up through the scene of his struggle in the Garden of Gethsemane. And when Jesus rebuffs the temptation of the Devil Luke records, “When the devil had ended every temptation, he departed from him until an opportune time.” (Luke 4:13)

Let’s not give this diabolical creature more credence than he deserves!

Pride and it's impact on mercy

In preparing for last Sunday’s message I stumbled onto a reality that I don’t think I ever had considered before.  I got to thinking about pride and repentance in connection with mercy. Here’s the reality … “God’s mercy has absolutely no significance in the presence of pride.”

I really don’t see any need for mercy if I consider myself pretty well put together. The humble person is the one who really really really appreciates God’s infinite mercy.

He shows mercy from generation to generation to all who fear him.

Luke 1:50 (NLT) 

Too much on "suffering?"

I’ve been wondering if this series on 1 Peter isn’t a little morbid. We’ve been stuck on suffering for quite a long while. The whole purpose of the book is helping people be ready for times of intense persecution and suffering, just for being Christ-followers.

My bother-in-law, Ralph Trainer is the director of Beulah Beach near Vermillion, Last we he told me that his son, Joel had decided last spring that he wanted to study the book of 1 Peter during the staff worship and devotional times during the summer. What’s with a 20-something wanting to dive into the subject of preparing to suffer? Is God pointing his church to these critical passages to study as a means of readying us for some difficult days ahead? I’ve found a number of preachers and themes related to this issue of dealing with trials, suffering and afflictions.

Here is video excerpt of Tullian Tchividjian (grandson of Billy Graham speaking about suffering. His basic thesis is that suffering itself doesn’t rob us of joy. It’s when suffering begins to take away from us things that were more valuable than God. Idolatry he states is in reality what robs us of joy and peace.  Check it out:

  

Graduation Day

We watched Lyndsay graduate from Copley High School yesterday ... So what do you say when your youngest throws her cap into the air? Dinita and I just got done watching the video that Rachel made for Lyndsay's graduation. I know it is a cliche, but "Time doesn't stand still" is way too true.
I pulled the photo album that my mother put together for me and I saw it there as well. As she documented all my "last" events in High School. I read through mom's album differently.

A couple of months ago I was in a discussion group with two other young couples who both had kids under one year of age. They were still a bit frazzled trying to make the adjustment from being a couple to being a family and a little bit of intimidation of raising kids in this day and age. They asked me what Dinita's and my secret was. I didn't have to think for a second. It is all of God's Grace. I'm sure that I did more to harm than help. But God's grace was incredible.

When I watched that video an hour or so ago, it was like, every clip was a glimpse into God's incredible unmerited favor and love. If I were to say what is the most prominent way that God has shown himself and character to me in the last 21 years ... I would say that it is in my precious two daughters. Thank you Lyndsay and Rachel for being what God has made you to be!

Memorial Day Weekend

    A few years ago I wrote an article for a newspaper for one of the local senior citizen living communities on Memorial Day. I had never given it much thought but as I researched and found out some of the significant aspects to the observance I was humbled and embarrassed that I'd never thought of the weekend as much more than the kick off to summer fun.
    The past 7 or 8 years my family and I have gone to the Copley Memorial Day Ceremonies. To be honest ... we went because my two daughters were in the High School band. But every year I go away with a new and fresh sense of humility and thankfulness for those who have sacrificed their lives for the sake of preserving and advancing freedom and human dignity in our world. It's not just a "God and County" celebration but a moment to take into account what sacrifice and serving others really looks like.
    If you can find a Memorial Day observance to attend ... just do it! If you're in the Akron area I'd recommend the Copley Township program. It begins with a short parade at 10:00 starting at the Middle School and then heading to the Copley Cemetery on Copley Road. The program at the Cemetery begins about 10:20 and will run through the 11:00 hour. This year the featured speaker is Major Raven Bukowski, a 1999 Copley High School graduate and 2003 graduate of West Point.

Greater love has no one than this,
that someone lay down his life for his friends. 

 John 15:13 

Seven Basic Needs of a Wife

The first time I heard of this list was as a college student back in the early 80s. The “College and Career” Sunday school class that I attended decided to ask the Associate Pastor to lead this series and attendance during the series soared! All the ladies were dragging their boyfriends to Sunday school. It was VERY good and I still remember a number of the principles … and stories that the pastor told. The only disappointment was that the next semester we ran the complimentary series: Seven Basic Needs of a Husband. You guessed it! Attendance plummeted! I thought I’d at least post the seven needs here and then let anyone comment on or add an illustration.

     1)      She needs the stability, confidence and direction of a spiritual leader.

     2)      She needs to know that she is meeting vital needs in your life and work that no other woman can meet.

     3)      She needs to see and hear that you cherish her and that you delight in her as a person.

     4)      She needs to know that you understand her by protecting her in her area of limitations.

     5)      She needs to know that you enjoy setting aside quality time for intimate conversations.

     6)      She needs to know that you are aware of her presence even when your mind is on other matters.

     7)      She needs to see that you are making investments in her life that will expand and fulfill her world.

How My Husband Leads

I’m indebted to Nicole Cottrell for her posts on her blog (www.modernreject.com) about issues of submission and the testimony of how her husband leads. I thought that her list of the ways that her husband honored her by being the spiritual leader was great for “rubber meets the road” reality. I had one couple come up to me grinning ear to ear after the message. She said, “You know my husband got an “A+” today! He nailed every one of those items on that list!”

My husband leads and he leads well. His leading blesses me and our marriage as a whole. Here’s how he does it…

He is undoubtedly, every time, without question the first to apologize, even if I was in the wrong. He is the first to seek reconciliation.

He has never once raised his voice to me.

He tells me, and then shows me, that our marriage is his number one ministry.

He tells our children, and then shows them, that mom and dad’s marriage is his number one ministry.

He regularly checks in with me to see how he is doing as a husband and father. He asks where he can improve and always receives any suggestions with humility and kindness.

He knows when to be firm with me without ever demeaning me, fathering me, or patronizing me.

He fully supports my dreams, in all areas, and is willing to sacrifice his own needs to help me achieve those dreams.

He never speaks poorly of me.

He never speaks poorly of our marriage.

He never speaks poorly of marriage, in general.

He respects my mind and my body.

He submits to Christ.

He attempts every single day to love me as Christ loves the church.

He does not ask, “How can Nicole serve me,” but rather “How can I serve Nicole?”

He makes decisions with me and in prayer, not as some rogue agent.

He does not lead from a place of self-satisfaction or self-exaltation, but from a place of self-sacrifice.

He does not just lead his family, but he also pastors his family.

He prioritizes me and our children above work, friends, and other commitments.

He is consistent in his actions, attitude, and dedication to us.

He knows that parenting is a two-person job.

He emphasizes our children’s character, not just their achievements.

He is, at times, annoyingly patient and unbelievably kind.

He makes me feel safe and protected.

He never accuses me or brings up old wrongs.

He tells me he loves me again and again.

He represents Christ’s love to our family each and every day.

What Submission is NOT

In the message I preached on Mother’s Day (Wives and the “S” Word) I presented a list of what submission is NOT. I had a number of comments on that list and expression of appreciation for making some important distinctions. I thought that it was important enough and might benefit a lot of us to review it here. Keep in mind that these thought are drawn out of 1 Peter 3:1-6 and are not meant to be the end all on the topic of submission in marriage.

¯  Peter is not saying that all women must submit to all men. This is all about the marriage relationship and to make more of it than that is abusive.

¯  Peter is not saying that a woman can’t have thoughts independent of her husband’s. That’s ludicrous! In fact when we get to considering the way God has created us as complimentary we discover that the independent thinking of the wife is critical for the success of the husband and the marriage.

¯  Peter is not saying that the woman should not influence her husband. God himself took note that it wasn’t good for man to be alone. He needed someone to help influence and help him.

¯  Peter is not saying that the husband is the ultimate authority in his wife’s life. Obviously Christ is the ultimate authority. And then Christ puts other “deputy” authorizes over the husband to rule over any abuse he might exercise over his wife. If the husband is abusing his authority or his wife or family, she is to appeal to those authorities placed over him … beginning with the church and then potentially the government.