I’m indebted to Nicole Cottrell for her posts on her blog (www.modernreject.com) about issues of
submission and the testimony of how her husband leads. I thought that her list
of the ways that her husband honored her by being the spiritual leader was
great for “rubber meets the road” reality. I had one couple come up to me
grinning ear to ear after the message. She said, “You know my husband got an “A+”
today! He nailed every one of those items on that list!”
My husband leads and he leads well. His
leading blesses me and our marriage as a whole. Here’s how he does it…
He is undoubtedly, every time, without
question the first to apologize, even if I was in the wrong. He is the first to
seek reconciliation.
He has never once raised his voice to me.
He tells me, and then shows me, that our
marriage is his number one ministry.
He tells our children, and then shows
them, that mom and dad’s marriage is his number one ministry.
He regularly checks in with me to see how
he is doing as a husband and father. He asks where he can improve and always
receives any suggestions with humility and kindness.
He knows when to be firm with me without
ever demeaning me, fathering me, or patronizing me.
He fully supports my dreams, in all
areas, and is willing to sacrifice his own needs to help me achieve those
dreams.
He never speaks poorly of me.
He never speaks poorly of our marriage.
He never speaks poorly of marriage, in general.
He respects my mind and my body.
He submits to Christ.
He attempts every single day to love me
as Christ loves the church.
He does not ask, “How can Nicole serve
me,” but rather “How can I serve Nicole?”
He makes decisions with me and in prayer,
not as some rogue agent.
He does not lead from a place of
self-satisfaction or self-exaltation, but from a place of self-sacrifice.
He does not just lead his family, but he
also pastors his family.
He prioritizes me and our children above
work, friends, and other commitments.
He is consistent in his actions,
attitude, and dedication to us.
He knows that parenting is a two-person
job.
He emphasizes our children’s character, not
just their achievements.
He is, at times, annoyingly patient and
unbelievably kind.
He makes me feel safe and protected.
He never accuses me or brings up old
wrongs.
He tells me he loves me again and again.
He represents Christ’s love to our family
each and every day.
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